My collection of memories

2011-10-30T18:12:00.001-07:00

Disillusioned.

2011-10-06T10:14:00.001-07:00

Life is not always easy/simplified as it seems.

2011-10-03T12:38:00.001-07:00

You took all my painstaking love for granted. It's time.

2011-09-25T06:26:00.001-07:00

Lingering of absence..
I'm so worn out.

2011-09-24T10:41:00.001-07:00

I don't even understand myself anymore.

2011-09-24T10:39:00.001-07:00

Every sad moments reflects back to you. You were my biggest comfort.

2011-09-24T01:06:00.001-07:00

I cannot let my loved ones down.

2011-09-21T11:55:00.001-07:00

I gotta start living for myself.

2011-09-20T01:28:00.001-07:00

Fifi I miss you so much.. I cant imagine how I will get used to without your presence.. It'll take some time again.

2011-09-18T06:17:00.001-07:00

It's sad to know that being a ＂脚踏石地人＂comes out of nothing..

2011-09-17T10:57:00.001-07:00

Seriously there's alot of work undone which i kept procrastinating and giving myself excuses and lee ways.. If I wanna go for something, I gotta strive it and I can't possibly continue lying around at home. It's time to get back the fighting spirit and the determination. I hope it can be revived. From the start, the strength is enough to keep me going but I don't know why.. Recently.. Probably too stressed when the exams are nearing?? I hope tomorrow will be the final time I stop deceiving myself and get back on feet again. I wanna wake up early and is 12 hours possible to complete all my "outstanding work"? It may seem like a long time but with many factors in between like lethargy, meals etc.. I don't have much confidence but I gonna keep trying and study like I've never studied before tomorrow. Like I always said, nothing is impossible so I hope I could faster get my work done and clear some weight on my shoulders.. Time for dieting and exercising etc but I think studies is my top priority first.. The moment I wake up and get freshened up I seriously needa get my ass to the table and study.. At night get a good night sleep and Monday go to school early?! I hope so??!! Gonna ask for God to give me the strength and wisdom to carry me through these ordeal and this crucial period of time.. Wow.. It's like been a last time I posted such a lengthy one.. Time is running out I can't imagine at the very last minute I feel a least of excuses telling me to give up.. But absolutely not! I'm not gonna let my past months of efforts go down to waste and the hopes from my loved ones.. A single subject failed and I can say goodbye to poly.. Even if I am doomed to fail, I'm gonna make it my best...

2011-09-16T12:42:00.001-07:00

You used to be the one I trusted and relied on the most..

2011-09-14T10:13:00.001-07:00

I've got so much to say yet I'm so tired to say.. Always have the tendency to type and backspace my words..

2011-09-13T01:25:00.001-07:00

Just downloaded Blogger's app. Prolly gonna start blogging soon! :)

2011-08-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

I can overcome all obstacles with just a teardrop and next i'm fine.. Except you.. I often tell myself that there's still a part of you which stays with me..

I've got many friends, but sometimes i no longer know who to call to, even just for a talk.

2011-07-24T10:42:00.001-07:00

You'll be washed away from the seas of tears.

2011-03-23T01:23:00.000-07:00

Weeeeeeeeeee!! Got Distinction for my LCCI :D Only me and the other uncle in my class got it. :P

Annnnddddddd, tonight i'm gonna hit the dancefloor!! Finally like after three months, it's real clubbing this time!! Need to slim down too!

So stress man but i doubt anyone can understand. Focus on studies and tonight i gonna relieve some stress!! :D

2011-01-31T10:33:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!! It has been a long long time since i've last blogged! Well, regarding on the last post i've met with a critical situation but everything's fine now! :) Seemed like the end of the world but every lessons takes me one step closer to success. Be it success in terms of my future or to mould me into a stronger lady one day. ^.^

So i'll just do a brief update..

Since October, i've been attending a LCCI course on English Business Level 2. Not yet a Diploma, but at that point of time i was more interested in earning money and gaining experience rather than having full time studies. So there isn't any loss to always upgrade oneself. :) Finally, my course just ended!! By the way, it's only a three months course and you will get to learn the proper format of writing Memos, Emails, Reports, Leaflets, Articles etc and there will be chances for you to apply on in the future. Currently, waiting for the results!!

In addition, i've just started Private 'O' level in early January at a school in Bedok. Quite convenient.. Direct bus from home and there's no need to wake up super early as usual during old school days..Too late for regrets, but if i had a chance i will cherish everything that i've learnt in school like what i'm doing now. So kiasu now compared to the past.. Afraid to miss out anything because 'O' level is a big leap for me!! Though it's the cheapest school that i can find but it's still expensive for a 'O' level!! My advice to everyone out there, never stop upgrading yourself. Whether you like studies or not, find ways to upgrade yourself because Singapore's standards are getting higher and it's no longer like the past generations. Determination and willpower is a boost, it all relys on yourself. For me, it's my family and thoughts about my future that keeps me going during my darkest days..God bless.

The good news is, i've finally seen some light!! Which means hope!! Although not totally.. but ever since i woke up from my world, i've finally stepped out of nightlife!! We can't foresee the future, but i will not give up!! :D Maybe some of you don't really understand what i meant.. For those who have been seeing my past posts, i've often mentioned that i wanna have a life, wake up from my sleep mainly due to binge drinking.. I've said it for the past two years, now i'm finally free!! Though i still drink at times (at home), but i wanna make it a point that regular clubbing and gloomy drinking days at Boat Quay is a no-no for me already. Some may think, "Aiya.. this and that.." but only me, myself knows how much things i've gone through and effort to come to this day. There's still rooms for improvements!!

Still have many things that i wanna improve and take action!! To those who are lost in love or lost in their own world, never give up on yourself!! Best is take the shortcut, seize the opportunity to learn and gain more things when you're still young. If not, you wouldn't know how long you will wake up from your beauty or charming sleep. :)

Take care readers!! I wonder if anyone reads this. -.-

2010-10-21T02:03:00.001-07:00

Worried..

God bless..

2010-09-23T01:57:00.000-07:00

Hi!!

Wow it has been a long time since i last blogged, blog rotting.. Currently working at AIA Tampines now as Secretary, anybody free can meet me for lunch. :) Intending to further my studies next year, probably night classes. Not really into blogging all this while, probably a few posts here and there on my private blog when I'm feeling down. Especially when I'm drinking lol..

Anyway, I'm determined this time round to cut down on binge drinking. This time round is different, the feeling's different.. Sometimes bad things might be a good thing too, i believe that sometimes things happen for a reason. :)

Currently in the office right now, rotting and freezing.. Last time used to think that my body can take this kind of lifestyle I'm leading. Had been drinking everyday and only having 5 hours of sleep then to work in the morning.. Recently finally fell sick, first time sick till my taste buds and smell got problem. Cigarette sucks to the max... Headache, slight fever, runny nose non-stop for the past week and just a few days before PLUS my daily cough and diarrhoea. In case you don't know, you can have diarrhoea if you have been drinking much.

Haven't been drinking for the past four days except yesterday but only a little.. I'm going to take up dancing lessons to brighten up my life and since I've so much free time might as well spend it wisely. :) My ankle is swollen from wearing heels, don't know why. :( Maybe i can't walk straight plus the straps keeps strangling my ankles, haha!

Alright, will update lots of photos when i change my phone alright? Happy waiting haha, but don't worry i won't delete this blog no matter what. :)

Bye.

2010-08-18T03:29:00.000-07:00

Hi! Currently Eileen is at my house, hehe. Long time never at my house cook le, next time must ask Michelle along to cook Curry mee. Later having tuition, damn sian.. Cooked soup and egg plus dao gei and prawn just now. Damn full now haha don't know what to type le byebye!!

2010-08-15T12:25:00.001-07:00

Long long time since i last blogged.. Anyway, i've just finshed posting on my private blog but there's only a few entries.. So people tune in till i update on my blog once again with lots of updated photos!!

2010-04-24T09:54:00.001-07:00

Currently updating at another blog, will get back real soon! :)

2010-01-10T02:52:00.000-08:00

If i had a choice i'd rather not know all these things, so i wouldn't be suffocating now. Or i should say, again. None will understand how it feels to be like me, during this period of time. Truth has come to light.. again. Being silent and ignorant does not mean that i do not know anything at all.

2009-12-13T02:21:00.000-08:00

Not really into blogging nowadays.. Life is just drinking and clubbing for me nowadays but after getting my results it'll all be a new start. :) Not sure if i would still want to further my studies in the future, it'll depends on my results. I'm still wondering what would life be for me like ten years down the road? My current plans for now is to find a stable job and settle down for the time being, save money and then sign up for make-up courses or private O's provided that i'm ready to study by then. However, i'll still cling on to the current one because i know that i wouldn't bear to leave the place. Time flies really fast.. .. Kind of worried for my results, it's coming out this Friday!! :O

Nephew Jarius came over to my house today, love his companion even though it's a hassle to look after him! Haha. He's getting more and more adorable, wonder what he will be like when he grows up. Seriously, society's changing and more kids are getting out of hands at a very young age nowadays. Stayed at home for today.. Realised that i'm having a huge appetite nowdays like eating 4 meals today and eating 10 chicken wings the other day! Or even after having my dinner i would still stuff myself with many chicken wings and my boss would be like, "Wah! Lydia, eat chicken wing again ah? Everytime i turn around i will see you having a chicken wing in the hand!". HAHAHA, side effects of drinking. I'm not worried for my body, what i'm worried about is my face! The fats i gain normally goes to the face, no wonder everyone loves pinching my cheeks (thick skinned ^.^).

This year, i've learnt alot of things. I'll treat the past, be it good or bad memories as a experience and a lesson learnt. It's all a part of growing up and parts and parcels of life. Even after having a bad fall, i'll give myself time to let the wound heal. Maybe i can help by not indulging myself with drinks especially when i realise that i'm feeling down because i don't know how long it'll take for me to recover. It's a challenge for me, but i'll try. :) Secondly, i feel that there's alot more unfortunate people out there so i can count myself lucky compared to them. Perhaps by thinking of that, it'll help a little. Even though it'll be a torment for me in the healing process, but it'll all get better in time. :) Lastly, i want to build a stronger relationship with my family because i cannot afford to have another regret in my life and only family are the ones who are really true. It's also another challenge for me because it takes time and sometimes we can't close our heart to the things that we don't want to feel.

It has been quite some time since i last typed out a long post.. Suddenly have the sense of inspiration, lol! Going to catch up with my sleep, bye!

2009-11-20T15:17:00.000-08:00

None will really understand how i feel.

How i wish i can rewind time back to the days, when i was leading a happy life just by having my friends around me.

People do change. Rely on no one but oneself.

2009-11-12T01:30:00.000-08:00

I'm having a very bad flu now.. Damn tired, wish to get to sleep but my flu is holding me back..!

Same routines everyday.. I wonder how long, this time round would be.. to get myself back on track again?

2009-11-04T02:36:00.000-08:00

Something that we were once looking forward to..

If you were still here..

~~Happy 1 year anniversary.~~

2009-10-21T15:37:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i wonder, in life.. why is it always the opposite? Must i bring myself to play the bad guy role so that things will be more fair to me? Be it kinship, relationship or friendship.. It's all the same. Well, life's like that.

I seriously don't know what's on your mind.
If you want to continue your childish acts, so be it.
You can cook up stories for all you want, as long as my conscience is clear.

Everything was just a dream. I've woke up from it and realised that you're not the same person i once knew. Feel foolish at times for deceiving myself that this couldn't be you.. Not going to let anymore of this affect me because it'll be me at the losing end. You can deceive others from that mask of yours but you can't deceive me. Really tired of all these games..

Clubbing anyone? Too bad Aminah can't shake it off with me tonight, HAHA!

2009-10-04T13:40:00.000-07:00

Many things running through my mind again. I'm in a mess. Someone tell me what to do!!?

Having my paper tomorrow and i haven't even started on my revision.. Why? Of all time.. everything choose to come to me during my examination period?

I swear i'm going to regret when i wake up to my senses one day.

2009-10-01T02:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Aminah's birthday and the day before was Hong yee's. Happy belated birthday!! :) Headed over to Oasis 68 then to St James Powerhouse. I still prefer Zouk and Rebel! N level's approaching in just a few more days and yet, i'm still "enjoying" life! Nothing much to blog about.

Goodnight.

Although i still couldn't figure out what went wrong between us, but just want to say.. Thanks for everything.

2009-09-24T02:31:00.000-07:00

Many photos to upload again! The previous post was like.. HEAVY IMAGES!! Pardon me for that because i have not been blogging for ages. Caught movies like, "Orphan", "Blood Ties", "Year One", "The Proposal", "Final Destination", "G-force", "The Ugly Truth" and "Gamer" in the past few weeks. I guess this is the first time i've caught numbers of movies in weeks. The best among all is the "Orphan". I'm not sure if it's still showing but you'll be amazed by how a woman in her 30s could disguise herself as a child. Well, N level's approaching but i'm still not prepared for it. I guess i've spent most of my time and money on drinking and i feel that it's such a waste because drinking only numbs you for awhile and not for long. Nevertheless, i still couldn't stop myself. Too obsessed with it, haha. I can't wait to watch, "Phobia 2", "New moon" and "Alvin and the chipmunks 2"!!

Off to sleep~

2009-09-15T16:36:00.000-07:00

2009-08-18T12:19:00.000-07:00

All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down

And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can say that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, no, no

Looking so innocent
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold

And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh

You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for

And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
No, oh, no, oh, no oh
Whoa, no, no

2009-07-27T01:56:00.000-07:00

Screw blogger, failed to upload any photos. Having my preliminary examination this coming Friday, freaking fast. Gawd, i'm not even prepared yet. This post might be a very wordy post. Postponed tuition today due to moodswings, i don't want to let any other distractions affect my studies but i always fail to do so!! I can't continue on like this, i know how to think wisely just that i get affected damn easily. I've got to put all distractions into the back of my mind, put studies as my top priority & mug hard just for this short crucial period of time. I know it's gonna be hard but i've got to try my best because i know i'll regret someday again.

It has been some time since i last experienced this dreadful feeling, once again it returns.. Many times more the pain that i've experienced before. I thought my heart was "dead" long ago experiencing that numbed feeling as though it didn't affected me much as before. Knifes stabbing my heart over & over again.. Putting on a smile on the outside but it hurts so badly so much on the inside. I used to lose control, crying over the littlest conflicts but as time goes by i got kind of used to it. This time round it felt like my heart that was numbed long ago were shattered into million of pieces. At times you revive my heart back to life a little & at times you stab my heart with a knife all over again.

Pardon me for repeating some parts of this post if it sounds familiar to you.. If only time can rewind back to the beginning.

Remembering the first time when i got to know you through Ah huang at your place..
Remembering the first time when i talked to you, asking you if i could use your com & you gave me a very blur expression..
Remembering those times when you always crack jokes just to cheer me up, always calling with names like "EMO"..
Remembering those times when we didn't get to see each other for a period of time..
Remembering the first message that i received from you through Friendster..
Remembering those times when we contacted each other through Friendster..
Remembering a time when i realised that Boiboi was actually your brother, he was going to find you that day & i accompanied him to your house..
Remembering those times when we contacted each other through Msn..
Remembering those times when we always confide in each other whenever we have problems..
Remembering the first message you forwarded to me..
Remembering those times when we started contacting via sms..
Remembering those times when you always used different no.s to trick me..
Remembering the first time when you asked me if i was hungry, whether i want to eat maggi mee or not & which flavour i would like to eat even though you prefer to eat dry noodles..
Remembering the first time when you treated me with a drink..
Remembering the first time when you helped me with the noodles..
Remembering a time when you specially played the movie, "Meet dave" for me to watch as i was feeling down that time so that the movie could make me laugh.. (even though you've watched before)
Remembering a time when you asked me if i wanted you to rent the Taiwan drama "Dou yu" for me to watch so that whenever i go over to find you, i wouldn't be so bored..
Remembering the first time when i went over to your workplace to find you..
Remembering the first time when we went out at Plaza Singapura..
Remembering the first time when we played Stackers together at the Plaza Singapura arcade..
Remembering those times when we couldn't get over previous ex(s)..
Remembering those times when you asked me out to eat..
Remembering the first time when you came over to find me at my house nearby..
Remembering a time when several incidents caused us to have conflicts..
Remembering a time when we didn't contact each other over certain issues..

Remembering a time when we finally got back in touch..
Remembering those times when i feel that it was a coincidence that whenever i want to check my phone for your messages, your message would be received straight away..

Remembering how we got together..
Remembering a time when i told you i would give you time to forget her..
Remembering those times when we didn't get used to it when we just got together..
Remembering the first time having breakfast with you at MacDonalds, not forgetting the embarrasing incident at the counter & the first time when you put your hands around my waist..
Remembering a time when you surprised me with a packet of Marlboro menthol just after breakfast..
Remembering the first time you walked me home.. (even though you were late for work)
Remembering those times when you never fail to accompany me for movie marathons at your house till 4am even though you have to wake up early for work the next morning..
Remembering a time when you said that you will bring me to the Singapore flyer & to the Couple lab after seeing my wishlist on my blog..
Remembering those times when you hugged me to sleep..
Remembering those times when i have to wake up at 7am plus before your dad come back from work..
Remembering those times when conflicts, arguements & quarrels starts to come into the picture..
Remembering the first time catching the movie, "Rec" with you at Plaza Singapura..
Remembering a time when i told you that i didn't mind how you treat me because i'm contended just to have you in my life..
Remembering a time when i was over the moon when we exchanged our couple rings..
Remembering a time when i baked cookies for you, it didn't turn out nice but you still managed to eat a little..
Remembering a time when you wake up at 6am, even though you were running a fever you still came down to my grandfather's wake in the morning just to keep your promise because you didn't want to disappoint me..
Remembering the first time you saw my parents & relatives at my grandfather's wake..
Remembering that you were the first guy my parents approved..

Remembering those times when i was struggling during the first three months, standing on the edge of a cliff.
Remembering a time when you fell sick, i panicked & kept calling others for advice because i didn't know what i should buy to make you feel better..
Remembering a time when i accompanied you to Jurong despite many stray dogs over there.. (i've a huge phobia over dogs)
Remembering a time when you came down to your house downstairs immediately after telling you that i was afraid..
Remembering a time when i walked home from your house in the rain & your friend bothered more instead of you..
Remembering a time when i stayed up the whole night just to accompany you to MCYS for report the next morning..
Remembering a time when you accompanied me to my cousin's house for a gathering..
Remembering those times when you never fail to bring up minor things to quarrel with me..
Remembering those times whenever i buy food for you or gifts you wouldn't appreciate..
Remembering those times when i cut down on cigarettes from a pack to half a pack a day, because of you but you don't seem to see or appreciate it & wouldn't fail to find fault with me..
Remembering a time when you placed the bottle of hearts i folded for you next to a bear your ex girlfriend gave you..
Remembering those times when i sat next to you seeing those folders containing of you & your ex girlfriends photos..
Remembering a time when i saw one of the folders named "Baobei"..
Remembering a time when you viewed your ex girlfriend's photos in front of me, asking me if she was cute or not..
Remembering a time when you threw the movie tickets you watched with your ex girlfriend in front me saying that you weren't happy when you're with me..
Remembering a time when you told me that you were angry when you found out that your ex girlfriend was with another new flame.
Remembering those times when i always take the initiative to message you or find you & whenever i asked if you want me to come over, you would say "Up to you"..
Remembering those times when you always filled my heart with your lies..
Remembering a time when you said that if you didn't lie to me, there wouldn't be any surprise..
Remembering those times when you would push all the blame to me even though you were at fault..
Remembering those times when i would wait for you aside for hours while you were playing basketball with your friends..
Remembering those times when i would learn how to cook spagetti just for you..
Remembering a time when i was waiting for you to finish playing basketball, passed you the spagetti that i cooked at home, it turned out dry but you still ate it all saying that it was nice..
Remembering those times when i would surprise you with homemade jellies & heart-shaped nuggets..
Remembering those times when i would rush down to wait for you to end work..
Remembering those times when we would go to Lau pa sat to eat after your work..
Remembering the first time when we chased each other like crazy fellows at the carpark near your house..
Remembering a time when i was overjoyed seeing you waiting outside your house for me for the first time..
Remembering the first time when we went for Sheesha together..
Remembering a time when i was so touched on that particular day when you bought a similar necklace for me knowing that i broke the previous one days ago..
Remembering a time when you surprised me with a baby pooh as an encouragement after knowing that my appeal was a success to Secondary Four Technical..
Remembering a time when i was in Hongkong, i couldn't stand not seeing you just for a week..
Remembering a time when i was back from Hongkong, i was elated when i saw your Friendster shoutout because i know that i'm close to replacing her from your heart..
Remembering a time when i had a big tiff with you at the K session & you left me crying over there with the rest..
Remembering a time when we both believed that whenever i wear that particular polo tee we definitely will quarrel..

Remembering a time when i thought that after getting her out of your mind things would get better but things didn't turn out as expected..
Remembering the first breakup i initiated on Valentine's day because i couldn't take it any longer & you got me back merely with your words not actions..
Remembering those times when i thought that you really regret & will mend your ways..
Remembering those times when you kept giving me empty promises, false hopes, disappointment & lies..
Remembering a time when you really change for a short period of time but went back to your old ways not long after..
Remembering the first time when you touched my heart at 624, i was much assured that i've finally replaced her from your heart..
Remembering the first time when we went to Escape together with Ah pui, had lots of fun at the Go-cart..
Remembering a time when we went seperate ways back home, end up walked passed each other downstairs my house without saying a word as though we were strangers..
Remembering a time when you folded 999 stars for me but not long after, it broke into pieces..
Remembering those times when we went for grocery shopping at the NTUC, cooking spagetti together at home..
Remembering the first time when you fetched me from school..
Remembering those times when you tucked me into bed..
Remembering those times when we drop by Hougang mall regularly to rent the show, "Dou yu" to kill time at home..
Remembering those times when we never fail to patched things up quickly..
Remembering those times when you started to contact your ex(s)..
Remembering a time when you worked together with me at the Singapore Expo..
Remembering that you were the first guy my relatives have seen before..
Remembering those times when we went to church together..
Remembering a time when we went to tattoo our names together..
Remembering those times when we planned for the future..
Remembering those times when you gave in to me even though i was unreasonable at times..
Remembering those times when i never fail to forgive you easily whenever you make my heart softened..
Remembering those times when i was willing to give up anything just for you..
Remembering those times when we both would hug each other, ending up in tears when we couldn't bear to leave each other..
Remembering those times when we never fail to go back to a square one, after my heart was "won" back by you..

But this time is for real.. I wouldn't come running back to you anymore.

I'm sorry for treating you differently from the past after the first three months. I've very much wanted to treat you like how i treat you in the past, but everytime i want to, you would come up with your games again. I don't wish to live in the past any longer, but it isn't easy to forget just like that. I wanted to give up whenever i feel that i've had enough but you hold me back time & time again, giving me false hopes with your empty promises & disappointments. My heart's weary, it can be worn out anytime. I simply despise people who only say for the sake of it but with no actions. I've given you far too many chances & i don't think you deserve any of those let alone thinking that you deserve one now. I simply have no idea what i've done wrong all along to deserve all these shits from you. I don't need you to be the perfect guy ever for me, my expectations aint high at all. I just need you to stick to your words & it should it be from the bottom of your heart not just by saying it for the sake of holding me back. I don't need you to pamper me with lovely things just to make me stay happy, just your true heart & you will do. Is pride really that important to you? What you're enduring now can it even be compared to what i've endured all along? Others say that it's silly to tattoo your name, i know that i may regret someday but i'll never forget that there's such a person appearing in my life before. The first guy that i've ever loved so much, that i was willing to give him the best of me & to give up anything just for him. I'll take it as a experience & a lesson learnt. I don't wish to get my heart softened easily by you & suffer again. It's like a cycle repeating over & over again. I've tried of many ways to salvage this relationship but most impotantly it takes two hands to clap. I know it's going to be a torment for me but i believe time will bring my heart back to life again, someday.. I've never regretted loving you & i'm contended that you were once a part of me.

Love is not wanting someone, it's wanting what is best for them. So close yet so far.

2009-07-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

Phew. Finally, blogger's back to normal. These few days tried to upload photos but to no avail. Currently in the school computer laboratory, boring.

Shall update tonight with lots of photos! :) Hopefully, by then there blogger will not be encountering any problems.

Bye!

2009-07-20T02:27:00.000-07:00

Frustrating. I want a change of a handphone. The current one i'm using now totally sucks to the core, have trouble transferring photos from my phone to the computer. I've dropped it countless time especially when i'm frustrated i'll throw it around & now i've so many hideous scratches on the back cover of my phone. -.- "Money money come"! Haha suddenly remembered this familiar line, hehe. I need a hair rebond, a new handphone & sufficient money for me to last for shopping & enjoyment. Sigh, guess my upcoming pay can't even cover it all.

N level's approaching, i'm definitely not prepared at all for this major examination. So much for all those distractions. I haven't even started on my revision & i've missed out a number of my CPA & EBS coursework. Gawd, i'm so damn nervous. I wonder how am i suppose to cope with my studies in this short period of time before time strikes. I've got to strive for the best of my ability! How i wish during this crucial period of time, distractions wouldn't drag me down. How i wish things would just flow smoothly ahead of me just for this crucial period of time till N level starts.. I really don't wish to get affected because i know that i definitely will & i don't wish to regret in the future whenever i think back how foolish i was to get affected by things that are not worth it at all.

I've got to tell myself that whatever obstacles or trials it might be, i've got to put all these aside & concentrate on my studies now for no one else but for the sake of myself. I'm running out of time! I've really got to let my mind win victory over my heart this time round. Jiayou(s) for myself. If i don't, i'll be defeated. So then..

Will upload overdued photos soon.

Goodbye.

2009-07-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

The power lines went out
And I am all alone
But I don't really care at all
Not answering my phone
All the games you played
The promises you made
Couldn't finish what you started
Only darkness still remains

Lost sight
Couldn't see
When it was you and me
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright

Been black and blue before
There's no need to explain
I am not the jaded kind
Playback's such a waste
You're invisible
Invisible to me
My wish is coming true
Erase the memory of your face

Lost sight
Couldn't see
When it was you and me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright

One day
You will wake up
With nothing but "you're sorrys"
And someday
You will get back
Everything you gave me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I'm beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I'll be alright

2009-06-28T06:19:00.000-07:00

Finally, i'm back to blogging. Realised that i've been too lazy to update my blog recently.. Used to blog everyday but now..? Blog being updated once in a while. The time shown on the clock is after midnight, that means.. Today is the first day of school! Even though the June holidays didn't turn out as expected it to be with shopping & enjoyment, but at least the days were well spent with my love ones. Luckily, i got suspended so there isn't a need for me to turn up in school tomorrow! ;) However, i've got assignments to complete within this week.

In a blink of an eye, june holidays are over.. It has already pass half a year.. Still remembering the times when i couldn't got used to year 2009. Now? N levels are around the corner! If i'm really going to continue this way, wasting every precious time of mine away that could be used to catch up with my studies i don't even dare to think of having a good future ahead of me let alone dream of it. I admit that i've changed compared to last time, but this isn't enough. Especially the efforts put into my studies, i'm way back behind others. Hopefully i can catch up before time strikes.

Gawd, i'm getting hungry. Having a great appetite these few days.. Craving for the roasted chicken wings, sambal sotong & stingray & sugar cane at Chomp chomp.. Chicken chop at Junction 8.. Dory fish fillet at Jack's place (can't recall the exact name).. The particular dish at TCC (Lots and lots of cheese with beef & tofu!!).. Drooling? Haha, many more many more that i can't think of. My stomach's growling, got to "fill" it with some food first before it gets impatient!! Be right back.

I'm back darlings. :) Went to 7-11 to buy cup noodles (big bowl), drink & chicken (microwaved). Guess what? Total cost around 6 dollar plus.. just for these three items!! -_- I could have make a trip down to McDonalds instead. Hmm, what else should i blog about..? Read my blog archives, noticed that i used to blog in a very detailed way. What a relieve that i'm not blogging in that kind of way anymore if not i would have missed out many things.

As usual, fetched baby from work today. He's so hardworking at work. That's my baby, hehe. ^^ Seriously need a job right now, so many things waiting in my wishlist. Some things to be briefly updated.. The beginning of this month i was working at Surpassing as a sales assistant, located at Liang Court shopping centre. Work was kind of slack over there & the staff was friendly too. Learnt some new stuffs like knowing how to use different kind of hair accessories to create different hairstyles & learnt how to be a cashier. Basically, when time comes they will call me down to work as they are in need of people. So.. should i say that i'm jobless now because i've been waiting for weeks already? No doubt i would have to wait until next month. -.- Once, i was working at another outlet located at Novena. I was freaking down on luck as i had to work with a freaking Malaysian bitch. There's nothing to show off about being a full-timer, trying to order me around or throwing temper at me for no particular reason? Screw the freaking bitch. Simply despise people like her who are not local yet trying to put on a big front. My workplace was very near Boat quay, drop in Blueblazze a few times after work to drink & find Jieying..

Many things happened recently, some things are better left unsaid & it's definitely not suitable to voice it all out here.

Things are fine between me & baby.. I guess. Hopefully, things wouldn't repeat the same cycle over & over again. The pain's killing me, with you building up tons and tons of disappointment and lies day after day. My heart's getting weary, with you giving me false hopes time & time again. Hatred comes in when thoughts of you taking my love for granted, linger in my mind. This love will stay for sure but this heart won't stay strong for long.

True friends? Hard to find, a few is enough. Trust & rely no one most but oneself.

Family? Going nuts soon. No comments. If i'm going to blabble about them, this post will have no ending. Leave it to other time.

I'm tired. Goodnight darlings. It's already 6.32am. Zzz..

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss & ends with a tear.

2009-06-10T05:38:00.000-07:00

None will find the old her anymore. She's dead.

She will find back her ownself and She will never be dead!(-_-')

LOL! This post is being edited by my baby (second paragraph). He's so adorable lah, see i not aware then faster seize the opportunity edit edit. HAHAHA. I was scrolling down my blog when i noticed this (-_-'), didn't really bother at first. After some time, then it came into my mind that i've never used these type (-_-') before!

2009-06-07T02:28:00.000-07:00

Took this quizzes & realised that it's quite true. Ought to share with you guys. :)

Understanding the Cave

The “cave” is a metaphor for how men typically solve problems in their lives. When a man experiences stress, his natural reaction is to focus his energy and attention on solving the problem. If he is unable to solve the issue, his instinct is to work on the problem even harder. To do this, he will retreat into a cave in his mind to mentally focus on the issue. This retreating behavior can involve things like working late hours, going to a ball game, or playing pool with his friends.

To the people in his life, it may appear that he’s “avoiding” the problem, when in fact he may be mentally working on a solution. Also, the more challenging the issue, the longer he may retreat into his cave.

The key is to learn if he is catering to this basic need or if he has become bored and is simply avoiding his partner.

When a man is in his cave, he isn’t motivated to talk about his feelings, or share emotional experiences with the people he loves. He’s looking for activities that distract him from the problem, so that he can open his mind to possibilities he hasn’t thought of. If a man is forced to talk at this stage, his reactions may seem defensive, cold, or unkind.

Because Martians and Venusians have very different ways of handling stress, when there is conflict in a relationship, their different problem solving habits create additional tension. Men will want to pull away, whereas women want to talk. As you can imagine, this obviously creates problems in relationships. By learning each others language in stressful times, you can be supportive without giving up your own needs.

For this test, your results were in the high range.

If you received this score, our advice is to take this seriously. In more ways than you may be aware of, you and your partner are likely adding to each other’s stress; not helping with it. This score may be a reflection of things going on in your life at the moment, but it’s likely that you are looking at a pattern which needs some dedicated attention to fix.

If you are going through frequent stressful times, the first step for you and your partner would be to accept that you have different needs, and different natural responses for supporting each other when you’re under stress. A man’s natural desire to retreat is not personal, it’s instinctive. Retreating into the cave becomes personal when a man has tried to pull away but he has been forced over and over to come out of the cave before he was ready.

To stop this behavior from continuing to hurt your relationship, the following things need to happen:

1. Dedicated time, energy, and resources need to be devoted to understanding why men pull away, why women need to talk, and how this is affecting your relationship.

2. Both partners need to learn how they are contributing to this issue. For the man, it may be that he stays in the cave for extended periods of time and this is hurtful to his family. It’s one thing to pull away to deal with stress, and a completely different thing to avoid responsibilities.

3. Finally, men and women are different by nature, and we need to learn to appreciate our differences and communicate when the differences cause us pain. Learn how to talk about your feelings in a way that he/she can hear -- this means in their language!

Learning to understand and appreciate the cave will be an asset to your relationship. Like most things in life, it simply requires practice. You also need to determine what the root of this problem is. Are you neglecting your needs or forcing your needs on your partner?

For many women, struggling to deal with your partner pulling away indicates bigger “abandonment” issues in your past which can be dealt with. Some men use the cave as a means of avoiding responsibility in a relationship. It’s very difficult to determine where we’re being controlled by our emotions.

Resentment Flu

Resentment flu is the feeling a person gets when they feel that they have been giving too much in their relationship without receiving enough in return. Relationships naturally ebb and flow in terms of giving but, over time, both partners need to feel like they receive as much love and attention from their partner as they give.

Resentment flu can affect men and women, although typically women become aware of this problem much sooner than men do. If this issue rears its ugly head in your relationship, take it seriously, because it can cause significant problems if not addressed.

For women, resentment flu develops over time after she has felt upset or disappointed by her partner’s behavior. It is a very subtle feeling that grows as she begins to be aware of how much she has been giving to the relationship without feeling like her partner is putting in the same effort. You can tell a woman has resentment flu when she stops doing certain things for her partner. She may stop doing the “little things” that show she cares, like making his favorite meal or more drastic measures like withholding sex and affection. At this point, the Martian goes into the doghouse in the Venusian’s eyes and it can be very difficult for him to get out!

Men definitely contract resentment flu the way it is described above, but most often they develop it after some time of being in trouble with their partner and not being forgiven for their actions. Over time, a man will begin to resent his partner for not forgiving him, and he will in turn treat her the way that he feels he’s being treated. Men will withhold romance, and may spend more time in their cave or with their friends -- thus neglecting the relationship altogether. As you can see, this cyclical problem can wreak havoc on a relationship if not addressed.

For this test, your results were in the high range.

Based on your score, it looks like you have a genuine case of resentment flu in your relationship. For many people, this feels very lonely and makes them question the future of their relationship. Perhaps not in a very active way, but the resentment flu makes people wonder if they’re in the right relationship. “What am I doing here? I deserve better than this!” are sentiments we often hear from frustrated people with resentment flu.

The good news is that, with effort, recovering from this problem is certainly possible. The bad news is that it can take time and, worse, many people give up before they have worked on the problem long enough, only to catch the resentment flu themselves. Imagine working on trying to make up with your partner and not being forgiven for your past indiscretions. Over time, men and women give up and begin to resent their partners in return. It can be a vicious cycle if you don’t know how to manage this problem.

To deal with this problem, you need to know the following things:

1. Whether you are in the place of needing to give to your partner, or needing to let your partner give to you, you cannot force forgiveness. Letting the loving feelings and actions in takes time -- and no one can tell you how long this takes.

2. You need to learn how to give in a way that feels like love to your partner. It is likely the only thing that works in this situation.

The wonderful thing about the resentment flu is that, just like a regular cold, it comes and goes in relationships. You can expect that, at different times, you and your partner will give and take more; what is not expected is for this to be a painful issue in your relationship for an extended period of time.

If you feel like this issue has gone on for some time, you can resolve it by taking a deeper look at how you give, and potentially why you give too much.

You may also have found yourself the recipient of “penalty points.” Unfortunately, some people use the give and take portion of their relationship as a means of punishing their partner for disappointing them. If you sense this is happening, this indicates a bigger problem around the expectations of how your relationship “should be” and what your roles “should be” in your partner’s mind.

Happy belated.. 7 monthsary to baby & birthday to Jolene. ♥

Overdued photos will be uploaded soon. :)

2009-05-28T10:14:00.000-07:00

Currently in school's computer laboratory. Seized this opportunity to update my blog. ;) Took some candid shots with Ilana just now from the computer & uploaded it here. Will be helping out in my grandmother's business tomorrow at Singapore Expo. It will be like a food paradise at Singapore Expo! Actually it has been years if you guys don't know. Just that this time round my pay will be like the other promoters with basic commision. :D Feel free to drop by to find me. Got to go.

Bye.

2009-05-23T15:13:00.000-07:00

Searching for the old me..

Agony.

2009-05-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

Currently blogging at Ilana's house. :) Like finally, exams are over.. What a relief. Didn't attend school these few days due to career day, with all those make up thingy & stupid activities. Don't know why mum would make a big fuss out of this when there wasn't any lessons at all. Sigh, people do change don't they?

Went to church at Suntec on Sunday afternoon with baby. Attended half of the service & headed to Marina square to hunt for my desired heels. Walked past a bridal shop & was atonished when one uncle from the shop approached us. I was like O.O when he asked baby this, "You both a couple? When do you intend to get ROM?". Couldn't stop giggling when we walked away, baby came up with some excuse with us having a movie to catch & so on.. Well well, will that day come to?

Another hilarious incident. Baby accompanied me to meet my parents & nephew at Hougang mall yesterday. Bought some casual wear from Cotton on. Though my nephew's real adorable but i can't help being annoyed when he's so difficult to handle with. When its time to feed him it was real tough, he kept shoving the food away & throwing the spoon onto the floor. Then baby & mum had to keep going to the toilet to & fro to wash the spoon. Much thanks to baby for helping out. Daryl told Ilana that he saw me at Hougang mall yesterday & he thought that my nephew was me & baby's child. LOL!!

We're both struggling, or maybe it's just me. I've done what i could to salvage this relationship since day one till now, the rest is up to him. Sometimes i guess washing my hands off everything would be a better choice.

Got to go.

Bye. :)

Like razorblades.

2009-05-13T02:40:00.000-07:00

Feel so hopeless for not being a more caring girlfriend..

2009-05-12T21:22:00.000-07:00

Sigh.. Baby is running a high fever since morning till now. Accompanied him to Orchid Country Club for an interview with his officer this afternoon. Didn't know that he was feeling unwell until i met him. :( Feel so helpless seeing him like that.. Just came back from the clinic with him, went there then realise that he was running a high fever. Initially, thought that his fever would subside after eating 2 tablets of panadol & 4 hours plus of sleep but to no avail. Bought a thermometer from the clinic so that i could monitor his condition. Baby, faster recover alright it hurts me to see you in this condition. :'(

Celebrated my birthday few days ago, organised a bbq for my birthday this year. Much appreciation & thanks to those who have helped out in the bbq, especially baby & his friends & those who came down. :) Touched that some even rushed down just to wish me a happy birthday. Even though there was cake smashing on my face, but overall i did enjoyed just having to celebrate my birthday with my love ones & friends. :) Saw alot of friends whom i haven't seen them since ages. Had alot of leftover after the bbq, sad to say that everybody were scattered in groups across the garden due to unfamiliarity. Didn't have time & forgot to take photos with everyone because i was too busy trying not to leave anyone out. :(

The day before my birthday (pass midnight), celebrated my birthday with baby. :D Though it was just the two of us, though it was just a small piece of cake but i was really touched just by seeing the littlest efforts that he've put in just to make me happy & to have a memorable 16th birthday. ;)

Last week, baby folded 520 stars for me in a circle shaped glass "bottle". Was really touched & happy when he gave it to me. However.. Few days ago, it shattered into pieces!! :'( Shall not elaborate what happened recently & so on.. All that i could say that it was due to carelessness, it accidentally slipped out of my hands. Argh, was so upset over it. Picked up the glasses & it accidentally cut my finger. Mum & sis came up wondering what on earth was happening, grateful to sis that she was understanding to see the situation & told mum to leave me alone.

Went to grandparent's house on Sunday, much thanks to all my relatives for giving me red packets for my belated birthday. ;) Celebrated a belated Mother's day with my mum yesterday, bought a cake for her. If only, my dad & sis could celebrate together with us. :( Hilarious.. Went back home with the cake yet my mum mistaken that i wanted to celebrate with her for my belated birthday instead of Mother's day. She told my dad over the phone that i bought a cake for my belated birthday & my dad wished me. @.@

Gonna take care of my baby boy, will upload photos soon.

Goodbye.

2009-05-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

Hahaha i feel so man in this photo. :/

Chio bo?

My pretty boy.

Realised that all this while i've been neglecting my blog, nothing much to blog about recently. Kinda lose interest in blogging, used to blog everyday.

Have been having exams since last week.. Didn't have enough time to complete my Englsih paper, left a few questions blank. :( Guess i've spent too much time thinking on the questions i have difficulty answering with. Nevermind, i shall put in more effort the next time.

As usual, have been staying overnight at baby's house every weekend except for weekdays because i've got school. How i wish that i could hug him to sleep every night & wake up to see him first in the morning, right by my side. Though we've gone through ups & downs together, our bond just gets stronger as times goes by.

Had dinner at baby's house yesterday together with Eileen & Jia an. Somehow had a feeling like it was some kind of reunion dinner lol. Baby surprised me with a rose & two sets of eyelashes yesterday. :) Wished that i could find myself back so that things wouldn't be so unfair to baby. :(

After going through obstacles in life, i've learnt that not "everything" is real as it appears to be. I should have wake up to my senses long ago, shouldn't be so naive. Only oneself knows themselves best more than anyone else do.

Off to bed, bye readers. ;)

2009-04-07T01:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks baby for accompanying me today. I felt much better to have you there by my side. Glad that everything's fine now, relieved. I can't imagine what will happen to me if the outcome didn't turn out as i expected it to be. Phew*

Woohoo! Good Friday falls on Friday, which means that there's no need to go to school.

Edward Cullens rocks like hella! Currently sooo obsessed with the book, "Eclipse". Can't wait to finish this particular book, then i'm off to "Breaking dawn"!

Off to sleep. Early for assembly today, & hopefully it goes the same for tomorrow. :)

Goodnight.

2009-04-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

Memories of us will always be etched in my mind.

2009-04-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

Can't believe you can say things to such extends over such a minor thing. Pulling people into my shit? Make sure you know what's happening before you assume things. I merely called her down to slack and she did told me that she knew what was happening on the phone. I have no intention of pulling people in at all. What would you think if i really went around telling people? Obviously you would think that i wanted people to buy my story or i have the intention to pull others in. What's wrong with telling her when you have already told her in the first place? Don't tell me you didn't ask her what i said or asked about you? Maybe you're thinking that you're not pulling her into the picture because she's closer to you. Though i might be disappointed, but after seeing your true colours i don't see any point of compromising things with you anymore. Two headed snake? Should you think back properly what i said before you assume things again? Acting like you understand things the other time? Was it all a show or are you taking it all out to spite me now? Say whatever you want, it won't affect me as long as my conscience is clear. Not as if like i didn't tried to prove you wrong? You should know the difference between badmouthing and telling people how you feel when you're in a difficult situation. You sure whatever i said that day was badmouthing? Thought you really understand that i was in a difficult position that's why i told you how i felt to hear your opinions. I see.. so whatever you said that day was just trying to make me feel better yeah? Not everyone has the same personality as you. Oh, i almost forgot.. I think you should search your conscience well before you say others. Don't tell me whenever you have problems with your other friends you wouldn't tell me how you feel? I remember there was some time with you talking behind their back and end up really pretending like nothing have happened before in front of them. To you, it may look like i was pretending that nothing had happened.. Well, i've already said what i can. It's up to you to believe, if you know me well you wouldn't be saying all these shits now. I don't see any point of taking your advice because you won't understand what i'm going through when you don't even bother to hear me out. Rest assure that i won't be pulling anyone else into this, hope that the same goes to you. If you still have any doubts, maybe you should try asking her whether did i tell anyone else besides her or G (he was with her at that time) when others keep asking me what happened. Or try asking B or A, who was the one telling them that i had conflicts with you? I don't see any point replying all these in the blog, guess i won't be replying any further.

Goodbye.

Happy 5 monthsary, baby. :)

Love costs.

2009-03-29T16:58:00.000-07:00

Vexed. Why can't life be free of sorrows? True friends? A few is enough. Nothing's fair in this world.. People tend to forget how you used to treat them when they have changed.

Baby & me went to the supermarket yesterday to buy ingredients back to his house. Watched Twilight & other movies, we were almost on a movie marothon. Edward Cullens is sooo awesome, i did watched Twilight before but i can't help pestering baby to watch it again! Cooked spaghetti for dinner, quite satisfied with my cooking but not yet to perfection. This is not the first time cooking for him but it's the first time that tastes better than the ones i used to cook. It's raining, boredom. Suddenly feel like going to the beach for a break, i've no idea what i'm thinking.

Got to go, going to meet my teh ni ni now!

Bye.

2009-03-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

Not really into blogging nowadays..

School sucks big time! School rules have changed, not as lenient as before. Just being late for a few times means that i would have to complete 6 hours of Corrective work order. Which means that i would have to sweep the floors etc. Simply not used to this sudden change of our school! Not only that, our recess have changed to 11.25am! Is this fair to us? We would have to wait until 11.25am with an empty stomach! Not only that, the time that they have set is close to lunchtime! Aren't we skipping a meal in a day?! Lastly, school will end at 2.55pm (Monday-Thursday) most probably due to the stupid Silent Reading in the morning which lasts for half an hour! I have no idea why he (new prinicpal) is treating us like Primary school kids? What's with the 30 mins of silent reading & expecting us to address him as "Sir"? Fucking ridiculous..!! Luckily, this is the last year to some of us.. If not i wonder how could i stand these extreme changes in the following years?!

Skip that.

Not used to not having you around us in school anymore, i miss you so. Though you would say that you will still come back to Hougang and find us but now we can't see each often as we like already. :( Remembering the times when i would meet you to school.. The times when we would have breakfast together before going to school.. The times when we did crazy things together.. Much more memories that will be always etched in my mind. I've always adviced you to stay several times before when you mentioned that you have thought of making that decision before.. Didn't expect that you've really made up your mind this time round, this is all too sudden. Since you've what you have in mind already, hope that everything goes well for you. I've got a feeling that we'll drift even more apart when you won't meet me as often as last time, but always remember that you're always in my heart. Like what i said before, i'm just 8 no.s away! Rain or shine, me & Jolene will always be here for you! ♥

Baby and me had some conflicts yesterday.. Though it was the first time having such a big arguement with him, it brought us much closer together than before. Should i say that i'm happy to actually know my importance to him or should i say that i'm upset to see him in this state because of me? Witnessing how frustrated and how upset he was, was like stabbing a knife straight into my heart. How i wished that i could hug him tight, comfort him and tell him how i felt from the bottom of my heart that minute, but i was too stunned to say anything. After that, we had a heart to heart talk, and i was really glad that i saw the other side of him. I wished that i could find back my real self, stop doubting and stop getting angry easily over the littlest things that he do.

Baby, i was really touched yesterday. In spite of me treating you differently in a way now, you still tried your best to understand me and i've seen every effort that you've put in. I've really seen the changes in you, i don't ask for more just to have you in my life i'm contended. Promise me that you will never vent your frustrations on things already alright? I'll be right here loving you till the end. :)

愛してるよ

2009-03-21T23:56:00.000-07:00

Bought breakfast for my parents yesterday morning, thought that they would be happy.. To my disappointment, my mum claimed that something's fishy and wants me to be frank with her. Frank with what? Fuck it. Don't know what's wrong with some adults.. Whenever we try to change to make them happy, instead of appreciating and noticing the changes in us they treat us the other way round. Sigh, nothing's fair in this world.

Caught the movie, "Street Fighter" with baby at Marina square today. Initially, this movie didn't caught my attention.. However, after watching it found that it was quite worth the watch. ;) Holidays are ending soon, what a short break. :( Argh.. missed my Cpa coursework on Friday. Forgot to go back to school, damn it. Need to catch up with my work when school reopens, few more days to go.

Anyone interested in the game, "Grand Auto Theft"? If yes, please leave a tag behind for more enquires.

That's all for now.

Goodbye.

2009-03-18T16:02:00.000-07:00

Overdued photos. :) Lazy to blog, let the photos do the talking. ;)

You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel.

2009-03-15T22:18:00.000-07:00

Currently blogging at baby's house.. Don't have the mood to blog nowadays, lazy to elaborate much.

Just want to say..

Happy 16th birthday, Ilana (my teh ni ni)! Wishing you the best in everything & hope you'll enjoy your day!! Love you, darling. ;)

The ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most.

2009-03-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

Happy 4 monthsary, baby!

Thanks for the m)phosis slippers, i appreciate & like it alot. ;)

I love you more than any word can say,
I love you more than every action I take,
I'll be right here loving you till the end.

2009-03-03T00:50:00.000-08:00

Back to blogging. Hmm, don't know where to start from. On Valentine's day, had K session with baby. Two weeks ago, went to Escape Theme Park with baby & one of his friends. Couldn't wait to enjoy the Pirate ship with baby that day.. Unfortunately, the Pirate ship & few other rides which are my favourites were under maintenance. :( We were given free Wild Wild Wet tickets which isn't of any interest to me probably because i have a little phobia of swimming since i was young.

Overdued photos will be uploaded. :)

Goodnight.

The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before.

2009-03-01T01:32:00.000-08:00

Overdued photos. :) There are still many photos which i haven't upload yet, shall update tomorrow again yeah. Upload these photos until tired liao, off to bed.

Goodnight.

2009-02-18T17:40:00.000-08:00

Though we've drifted much, you're still a brother to me in my heart always.

Hey peeps! Sorry for the short post lately, didn't have much time to blog. :) Was browsing through my folders & saw many photos which hold many memories. Since i've got nothing much to blog about, i shall post some of it here. :) All photos uploaded are ranging from year 2006-2008. I know i look fugly in some of the photos. ;x

Got to go! Bye.

Aww, miss my babyboy!!

2009-02-15T10:36:00.000-08:00

If it ever falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you.

2009-02-09T00:05:00.000-08:00

Heartbreak brings us immense pain and suffering but in reality we must realize that it brings us one step closer to the one we are destined to be with.

2009-02-05T17:53:00.000-08:00

Happy 3 monthsary, baby!

You are every reason, every hope & every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours & you'll always be mine.

愛してる

2009-02-03T00:06:00.000-08:00

Bought the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" together with Eileen today. Intended to look for the latest book of "Singapore true ghost stories" but to no avail. Came across this particular book, happened to browse through & found it quite interesting. Those who are interested to understand & know more about the opposite sex, you ought to read this. Pick this sentence out from the book.. "When men & women are able to respect & accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom."

Worrying for my boy now.. Awaiting for his message so that i will be more at ease. Hope nothing goes wrong.

Goodnight.

2009-01-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

Went to Bugis with Jolene on Friday, bought a necklace from Diva & a heels. Wore both for a few times & both were spoiled. :(

Caught the movie, The wedding game on Saturday with baby at Yishun & Love matters at Tampines mall today. Prefer the movie, Love matters. Forgot to wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year! Caught the movie, Alls well on the first day of Chinese New Year with my relatives, you ought to catch it! Damn hilarous.

Went to Bugis with baby yesterday, went for sheesha. :) Baby bought the same necklace i bought on Friday for me knowing that mine became spoilt. That was so sweet, haha!

Many photos to upload.. Cpa coursework starting tomorrow, sigh.

2009-01-19T16:12:00.000-08:00

2009-01-19T14:43:00.000-08:00

Life's unpredictable..

2009-01-17T04:41:00.000-08:00

Aminah so hardworking!! ;)

Hello readers, i'm back to update! Have been busy recently so didn't have the time to update. Baby surprised me with a baby pooh on Tuesday, so sweet of him. ;) Went to United square today with my family to celebrate my father's birthday. Had buffet for lunch, quite satisfied with the food. :D After that met baby at his house nearby, bus-ed to Serangoon together. Met up with his friends for Ktv, happened that Wilson & Timothy were there too.

Just reached home not long ago, got to go to do some stuffs already.

Goodbye!

2009-01-12T19:16:00.000-08:00

K session with Hannah on Friday at Kgarden, it's like finally. :)

My appeal has been a success! What a relieve! :D I really will keep my words this time round to study hard. Girls, please stop me if i continue my habit of skipping lessons in school. Left one year only, jiayou!

Bye.

Thought things got better after you got her out of our mind, however things didn't turn out as expected to be.

2009-01-05T20:10:00.000-08:00

It's year 2009 already, in a blink of an eye! Anyways, back to update.. Came back to Singapore on the 30th of December, will try to upload those photos taken at Hongkong soon. :) So glad to see my love ones once again, especially my baby boy! Oh well.. things got better for me & my parents over there but once back in Singapore, everything goes back to normal (conflicts & so on..).

The weather was freaking cold there, bought some stuffs for myself & my love ones. There were a number of times my cousin wanted to meet us out for lunch but due to my parents' plain laziness we didn't get to meet her. What a waste, i only get to see her once in a while because she's staying with her husband in Hongkong. The "nu ren jie" over there is quite a favourite spot for tourists, quite similar to Bugis street in Singapore. The food there is great, not forgetting one of their drinks i've tried (thumbs up)! Sad to say, the Marlboro menthol i bought over there sucks to the core & Disneyland's boring. Intended to sit the Space mountain ride (which i think that's the only ride that's thrilling enough over there), but problems occured so didn't get to sit in the end. The only thing i've enjoyed at Disneyland was the scenery & the food, i rather go to the Ocean park in Hongkong.

School's getting a little boring because i still don't know which level/class i'm supposed to be in. Appeal still pending in progress, although my name's in the Secondary 4t1 class list. Damn the school for giving me false hopes with Mrs Cheng telling me that it's a mistake. Hopefully my appeal will be a success yeah. I suddenly have the sense of achievement of staying in school today for the longest. :D What is life in Hougang secondary going to be in the future with our new principal around? Is he worthy enough for us to address him as "sir"? Kns.

Yesterday was baby's 17th birthday, caught the movie "Transporter 3" at Leisure park with him & the rest. Overall, the movie was quite cool. Headed back to Hougang after that, slacked at 504. Celebrated his birthday at his house the day before with him & his friends, hope that he really did enjoy himself on that day. :) Happy belated birthday to you once again, my boy.

Today's our.. ;D Happy 2 monthsary, baby! Thanks for everything, your love, care & concern you've always showered on me. Always be my baby, i love you.

A number of photos of myself taken in Hongkong by phone will be posted, but for the rest i will try to upload soon.

Goodbye. :)

2008-12-25T03:35:00.000-08:00

Merry christmas to everyone! In a few hours time, i'll be flying over to Hongkong. Don't miss me too much, HAHA! Spend my Christmas eve with my baby boy & my love ones. :) Although this year didn't went out to countdown or going somewhere else but it's enjoyable & memorable just spending time on Christmas eve with you guys. :D Went to grandparent's place today to celebrate Christmas with my relatives. Memories of my grandfather came flashing back into my mind, really not used to him not being around us. Much thanks to those for the Christmas presents, it's lovely. :) Going to miss my baby & my love ones alottt. :( Wonder how i'm going to be like without being able to see them for 5 days. By the time i get back, it's time for the new year countdown followed by school reopening & our 2 monthsary! :D Time flies really fast yo, year 2009 is around the corner!

Got to prepare soon! Quite excited to sit on the plane, never in my life have i sat on a plane before. Dad says that he's going to get a card for me to call back my baby when i'm over at Hongkong, how sweet is that. ;D

Goodbye.

2008-12-23T11:11:00.001-08:00

Went to Bugis with Ilana & Aminah today, wasn't feeling well since yesterday. Above all the photos which i've taken today & some overdue photos. :) Call me superstitious or any others anyone of you can think of, i don't give a damn. Well, i'm going to get rid of the black polo tee that i've bought not long ago (shown in the above photo). Baby & me realised that whenever i wear that black polo tee, it's a confirm that we'll have major quarrels over small things. Weird isn't it, several incidents already! I wouldn't want to take the risk again.

Dead beat. My bed's calling for me already..

Goodnight readers!

Lastly, Merry X'mas eve to everyone. ;D

~~Confusion.~~

Disappointment. Relief. Anger. Sadness. Joy.